pity party

Cluster headache pounding to 

The beat of an infant’s drum 

Cyclical anxieties I 

Ruminate for fun 

Tangles of a worry I pull

Tighter at their ends 

A knot I want to come undone

The opposite of loosens 

What I pity party I throw myself

With banners on the wall

Here’s to turning thirty-two

With nothing figured out at all

A problem solver stuck 

In an unending dilemma 

How to fix what has never been

An actual real problem 

Red eye sore teary nights

Awake and asleep somehow

Occurring at the same time 

A mind that turns and turns and turns

A clock winding backwards 

For the things that it yearns

Will never be again

This I learn and re-learn 

Here I sit and reminisce 

Out of my grasp, can’t hold

What has just slipped 

And shattered on the bedroom floor

Broken glass and memories 

I reassemble piece by piece 

The puzzle I will never complete

All things end, all things cease